Anyway, I opened the old journal to a random page dated March 22, 2011. At that time, I must have been struggling with my self-esteem and comparing myself to other women, because I came across this affirmation:
“I am a woman of purpose. I am a unique individual, intricately crafted by the hands of The Master Craftsman. No one else possesses the beauty, talents, gifts, or greatness placed within me before the foundation of the world. I do not compare myself to other women, because no matter how amazing I believe they are, I know that I am equally amazing.”
Retrospectively, I can definitely say that I hadn’t always believed those words I wrote to be true. For a long period of my life, I felt inadequate and inferior. I compared myself to every woman I believed had a better life than mine, and in my eyes, everything about me greatly paled in comparison to those around me. I thought everyone else was prettier, smarter, more accomplished, more talented, and possessed a greater purpose than me. Whenever I sized myself against others, the end result was always the same – I never measured up. I didn’t look at the lives of others as inspiration to better myself; instead, I used others’ strengths to magnify my own weaknesses and shortcomings. What is so wrong with me that I can’t just be like everybody else? I’d think. I hated those feelings, and my continuous self-criticizing thoughts eventually caused me to hate myself.
Not only did my constant comparing produce self-hate, but also jealousy and envy. I often felt jealous of other women because I didn’t know how to properly channel my admiration towards them so that it positively influenced me. I circled the mountain of incessantly comparing myself to others for many years, and part of my struggle with depression had a lot to do with the fact that I never felt I measured up to the greatness I saw in others. I mean, I had too many negatives against me.
Raised in poverty.
Nothing good could come from someone who had so many issues. At least that was my twisted way of thinking.
I remember praying a lot and just seeking God to help me change the way I felt about myself. I don’t recall the exact moment, but I finally came to this realization: Who told me that I had to measure up to anyone? Where did I get the idea that the life belonging to the lady next to me set the standard for my life? If I was created in God’s image, then why was I trying to conform to that of someone else? Comparing yourself to others was equivalent to telling God – who does all things perfectly well and makes no mistakes– that He didn’t do a good enough job when He created me. When I criticized myself, I criticized God’s perfect handiwork. When my mind and heart embraced this truth, my self-view completely changed, and so did the way I loved and valued myself. This is why it is imperative to take your eyes off of them and keep them on Him.
Ephesians 2:10 says that we are God’s masterpiece. If God considers each of us His masterful work of art, we should never disrespect His work by treating it as inferior to another. In God's eyes, there is no one better than you. There is not one person on this earth to which you can be compared because everything about you is unique. Your beauty, intelligence, gifts, talents, economic and social status, purpose; your entire life’s plan is unique to God’s design for your life. Just as your DNA cannot be matched or compared to anyone else’s, neither can anything about your life. Originals cannot compare to other originals.
You were not created to measure up to anyone or anything other than Jesus Christ, and His principles and standards of holy, righteous living. Absolutely nothing about you is supposed to be anything like anybody else. YOU are His greatest, most original and valuable design. According to Psalm 139:13, in your mother’s womb, He meticulously knitted you together and made all of the delicate, innermost parts of your being. According to Genesis 1:27, He created you in His own image and likeness, to be a reflection of the perfection He embodies. And according to Jeremiah 29:11, as He designed you, He did so with a plan in mind, a plan that leads you to a future and a hope. You are not merely a result of the physical connection between your father and mother, but you are a strategically produced masterpiece, designed by the Creator of the entire universe, and are purposed to fulfill God’s specific, predestined plan for your life. And none of that changes because of your life’s circumstances or how you think you fail to measure up to the next chick.
You possess an inner-stitching which consists of your character, personality, gifts, calling and anointing, that sets you apart in a world of look-alikes. There is no need to desire to duplicate, replicate, or emulate any other person upon this earth, because the only thing you are wired, or originally designed to be, is you. No other person in this world sets the standard for who should be, for every detail of who you are is tailor-made to fit the specific purpose God designed for you.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you see that? You are beautiful and amazing, just the way you are. You are enough. You are good enough, in every way. Don’t you beat yourself up another day for not living up to the lie that you have to be like so-and-so. You are the one and only you, and that alone is what makes you incomparable No comparison, sis, no comparison.
Whether you are formally educated or educated by the hard knocks of life…
Whether you waited until marriage for sex or you have entertained countless men…
Whether you come from poverty or were born with an inheritance…
Whether you were rejected by your parents or deeply loved by them…
No matter what you look like, where you come from, or what you have experienced, this truth remains: You are one of a kind, created by the Master with great purpose in mind. You are a reflection of God’s beauty, a precious picture of His grace, and a jewel in His eyes. Despite where this life has taken you, you are enough and your value will never depreciate.
Marvelous are God’s works. This your soul should know full well, queen.